June 20, 2014

Heart to Heart: Anna Davis

Over a year ago I was lucky enough to have Anna sit in my lounge-room attending a workshop. I remember the exact moment I met Anna. Her smile can disarm a room of people and I knew straight away I wanted to get to know her. --Belinda

Anna Davis
mother, teacher  |  fields-of-sage.blogspot.com.au  |  @fieldsofsage

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Belinda: Hello beautiful, I am so excited to share this heart to heart with you. I think of you often. I can't believe it has been over a year since you sat in my lounge-room.

Anna: Oh I'm thrilled too lovely! Always so nourishing to be in your presence. The past year has flown faster than I can conceive. So much has happened, seemingly in the blink of an eye, but also has felt a lifetime too!

The light in your beautiful home that day, was just magic

Belinda: I know, some days time goes so fast I can't seem to breathe, other days I have a beautiful rhythm and others it stands still.  The light is our home is truly special. It drew me in as soon as I walked through the door many years ago. I knew this was to be our family home.

It has been a big year for you. I will chat more about that in a second, but first of all, please tell us a little about you. 
Your Name, How many children? Is Mothering your full time occupation? If not, what else fills your time? Do you have a web presence where our readers can find out a little bit more about you?

Anna: So very true honey - you've encapsulated my days right there in a nutshell

Oh wow, a little bit about me, where to begin! I'm Anna - a close to thirty, small town, Tasmanian girl, who lives in a little cottage with my exuberant family of four. I share my home with my wondrously, ever-patient husband Simon, Sage - our two and a half year old daughter - full of fire and finesse, and our dreamboat baby boy, Alby, who is three months old. I am an early childhood teacher {currently on maternity leave until the beginning of next year} and an occasional blogger; 'occasional' as that’s all I can currently muster amongst this whirlwind that is stay-at-home motherhood! Oh, and I adore taking photographs and eating Nutella from the jar . 

I just got goosebumps. I want to be sitting in your kitchen drinking tea watching all our babes play. Congratulations on the birth of beautiful Alby! How have you found the transition from being a Mama to one and now a Mama to two?

Our kitchen is placed just perfectly in our home - it adjoins the playroom and the backyard - the middle ground for tiny bodies pattering in and out while this mama attempts to housekeep! I can just imagine you sitting there with me one day. Thank you for your congratulations. Alby - I am truly besotted with him! I just feel this desperate, almost innate need to kiss him all. the. time!! The transition from one to two has actually been a little easier than I anticipated, as to be honest, I mentally prepared myself for the worst! Witnessing the way Sage just gushes with love for him is more than my heart can handle!

I remember when Noah was born, I was surprised that I found two easier than one. Watching Lotus all smitten for her new brother made me weak at the knees.

I have had to let go of the notions and ideals surrounding ‘perfect’ motherhood – some days will be blissful, others will be a battle.

Now you have let go, how do you now feel about 'perfect' motherhood? Where do you think you were influenced by those notions and ideals?

I think that the experience of motherhood is perfectly imperfect. When I look around our home and see puzzles scattered around the living room, tiny clothes resting in the washing basket waiting to be folded, uneaten crusts sitting on a pink, Peppa Pig plate, residue of coloured bubble bath lining the tub - rather than exclaiming over the mess and becoming overwhelmed, I try and remind myself that this is my story - my story of mothering, the story of our home. My previous ideals of 'perfection' were entirely self induced. Slowly, as I've released my grasp and accepted, with gratitude, that this current place that I am in is exactly where I am meant to be, have I come to realise that I AM the perfect mother - the perfect mother for a little girl called Sage and a little boy called Alby, who bravely chose ME in spite of my imperfections and and the endlessly imperfect state of our home!

I think we are imperfectly perfect for our families. I love that you feel the same way. I often become frustrated by the 'chaos' of our surroundings, tripping over toys, dishes needing to be done and all the other chores. I then I look around and surrender to our story and I exhale.

How do you think it would feel to mother without the fear of judgement?

Motherhood brings with it a great deal of perspective. I know that in many years time when the children are grown, I will crave the chaos and the mess that used to fill my life, as with that chaos and mess, there came an insurmountable amount of love. I'm a mama who would prefer to read stories over doing the sweeping. Housework waits for when sleeping heads hit the pillow.

I find my frustration to the 'mess' comes more out of fear and being judged if someone is visiting. I often find myself apologising. Lately, I have stopped myself and embraced with acceptance, this is us.

Truthfully, I think the greatest judgements come from within, especially when we begin to compare ourselves and our lives with others. When you trust in your own instincts and capabilities as a mother, this radiates.

What is your fondest memory of your own mother or grand-mother? Or maybe, it was someone who had a mothering influence over you?

I find it astounding how becoming a mother yourself gives you an entirely different insight to your own mother. Its like seeing them for the first time with a new set of eyes and you now have something that binds you inextricably - the bond of motherhood. I now recognise and have a new appreciation for all of the sacrifices she made for my brother and I along the way. She loves us unconditionally and that shines through in every action she takes.. even now that we are grown. Each night as I lull Sage to sleep with the same songs that I was once sung in the darkness, my heart swells with the hope that this tradition carry on.

What a beautiful tradition to carry on. 

What has been your favourite mothering moment? A moment when you felt incredibly proud of your efforts?

Nothing can really prepare you or compare to the very first moment you lay eyes on your child. Finally, after months of anticipation, you are meeting this precious being who you have nurtured and loved from the moment they came to be. Birthing each of my children has by far been my most empowering experience, and therefore my proudest. I'm a little worried that now that I've begun, I won't be able to stop 

I loved birthing all my children. Each one very different, equally as empowering. I have learnt many different things about myself in the days, weeks, months and years from them. I often wonder if Brad and I will ever be done having children. It is such an amazing gift our children give us and we give them. Well, beautiful, Lotus is looking after Parker and he is now into all her valuable things. I must go and rescue them for her. It was an honour to be having this Heart to Heart with you and I can't wait until the day I am sitting in your kitchen drinking that cup of tea.

Oh bless your darling Lotus! Thank you for inviting me to share honey. I adore this space and bonds that have come to exist between women from all around the globe. After all, there is nothing more binding or universal than motherhood. Ultimately we are all navigating through, just doing the best we can. I can't wait until that tea date either lovely xx

Images:  Anna Davis